What to Do After You’ve Been Cheated On: Therapist-Backed Advice
When you find out someone you love has cheated, it can feel like your whole world just cracked open. Your mind runs in circles, Was it my fault? How could they do this? What do I do now?
It’s an ache that’s hard to put into words. But while the pain feels unbearable right now, you can find your way back to yourself, slowly, gently, and with the right kind of support.
Below are therapist-backed steps to help you start healing after betrayal. Each one is about giving yourself the care, honesty, and compassion you deserve.
1. Let yourself actually feel it
You don’t have to be strong right now. You might cry at random times, lose your appetite, or feel nothing at all. That’s okay. Your body and heart are trying to process what just happened.
You might find yourself replaying moments, like that night they came home late, or the time you felt something was off but ignored it. Instead of shutting those thoughts down, allow them to pass through without judgment. Healing begins when you stop pretending you’re “fine.”
2. Don’t rush your decisions
You don’t have to decide right away if you’ll stay or leave. Betrayal shocks your nervous system, it takes time to think clearly again.
Maybe your friends are saying, “Just walk away,” but deep down, you’re not ready. That’s valid. Give yourself time to process and get support before making any big moves. What matters most is that you make choices from a calm and grounded place, not panic or pressure.
3. Talk to someone safe
When trust is shattered, it’s easy to isolate. But carrying this alone can deepen the pain.
Reach out to a therapist, support group, or even one friend who listens without judgment. You deserve a space where you don’t have to perform or explain yourself. Talking helps you untangle your emotions and remember you’re not broken, you’re human.
4. Rebuild trust with yourself first
After being cheated on, most people say the hardest part isn’t forgiving the other person, it’s trusting themselves again. You might ask, How did I not see it? or Why didn’t I leave sooner?
Be gentle with those thoughts. You were loving, hopeful, and doing your best with what you knew then. Start small: honor your intuition when it whispers. Say “no” when you mean it. Trusting yourself again is how you begin to feel safe in your own life.
5. Focus on your own recovery, not their remorse
You might hear, “I’m sorry,” a hundred times, but that doesn’t erase what happened. What matters is how you feel and what you need to move forward.
Maybe they’re apologizing but still crossing boundaries, or maybe they’ve gone silent. Either way, your healing can’t depend on their behavior. Your peace starts when you stop waiting for them to make it right.
6. Remember who you were before the pain
It’s easy to forget that version of you who laughed easily, dreamed freely, and loved without fear. But she’s still there, she’s just buried under the hurt.
Start reconnecting by doing small things that make you feel like you: going for walks, journal with the I MISS ME journal, dancing in your room, or spending time with people who truly see you. Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before, it means becoming even more grounded in who you are now.
You might not have all the answers today, and that’s okay. Healing from betrayal isn’t about “getting over it”, it’s about learning to live with more honesty, self-respect, and tenderness than before. You deserve love that doesn’t make you question your worth.
If you’re wondering whether you’re truly ready to open your heart again, try our Am I Ready for Love? interactive reflection, it’s a gentle way to check in with yourself and see what your heart needs right now.
And if you’re ready to start coming home to yourself again, I MISS ME: A Journal For The Version Of You You’ve Been Neglecting can guide you through that healing process one page at a time.
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