Have you ever wondered why avoiding rejection may be holding you back because let’s face it… Nobody would ever say that they like rejection. In fact, it’s probably one of the most uncomfortable things that we’ll ever experience in life because oftentimes, it places us in a state of embarrassment. Have you ever been rejected from a job that you were excited to get? Have you felt like an ex-boyfriend, or girlfriend rejected you? Have you ever felt rejected by your own family? If you’ve ever felt any of these things, you can probably recall how they made you feel at the time, or even now. Although rejection isn’t easy, it is a necessary part of life because it promotes growth. Also, remember that rejection is not the end of the road. It is merely the beginning of a new chapter and that should be celebrated. Rejection is redirection. You may look at rejection as a negative thing, but it only implies that your story has been temporarily delayed, not denied. Here are a few reasons why avoiding rejection may be holding you back. *If you find yourself having trouble  being able to understand how you feel i invite you to get my free feel to heal 7 day challenge to get you focusing on you again.  

1) Lack of Authenticity

When you don’t allow yourself to be you in spaces such as in your relationships when it comes to being clear on what you want then your doing yourself a diservice. You are not allowing yourself to be you and saying how you really feel. How wonderful it is to live your life, unapologetically! When you get to fully say how you feel and your thoughts you are truly being able to be yourself. If you want the relationship to go further let the person know and if you don’t be honest and tell them directly. To fully embrace the person who you are and everything about you can have you living authentically. Embracing who you are, flaws and all is a beautiful thing! That’s why it is so important to allow yourself to experience rejection in all of its forms. I know its’ not something you might immediately have yourself running to but I don’t want you to be scared to go after what you want. If you try to ignore or avoid the feeling of rejection, you will begin to change who you are in the process. You may be asking how that is and I’m going to give you a brief explanation. Sometimes, finding the right person isn’t a “one and done” type of thing. We have to date many people and we have to kiss many frogs until we find the person that works for us. It may take longer than others, but that’s all part of the journey. The more you try to avoid it, the more you’ll begin to lose yourself because you’ll be so focused on finding ways to escape rejection, that the real you will get lost along the way. You want to fully show up as you wherever you go. Understand that the feeling of rejection says nothing about you or your worth. It’s only about preference if you choose your favorite items off of a menu it says nothing about the other food items it’s only preference. I think when you don’t allow yourself to take it personally is when you can really shine. I’m not comparing you to food here but I want you to see is when we don’t take people’s preferences personally were able to show up without it being about us as a person. A common theme that is often addressed in these blog posts is the fact that you matter. So be authentic, be great, and continue being YOU!  

2) Stops You From Knowing Your Worth

There’s a saying that goes a little something like this: “Know your worth, then add tax”! When you fully know your worth, you don’t take what other’s do to heart because you know it’s nothing about you in that moment.  When you’re avoiding rejection you’re depriving yourself of future heartache when we get to afraid to ask the question or get the answer we know were seeking. When you get the truth of whatever it is you want to know you’re able to move accordingly. I know what gets you caught up is when you assume what someone feels rather then ask them. Rejection is a part of the  growth process. I don’t want you to stunt your growth by running from things that are only going to help you. Yes, it may hurt at first, but when you look back, you’ll see exactly how much you needed it because of how it allowed you to grow through it. Going through a breakup, or even experiencing rejection after first meeting someone can be extremely difficult. At times, you may even feel like it’s hard to breathe. I am a firm believer in the idea that whenever opportunities don’t go my way, it’s because there is an even better opportunity waiting for me elsewhere. That is how you have to move through life, knowing (without a shadow of a doubt) that you deserve and will receive better. Do you know why? Because you’re worth it. Rejection only gives you more of a reason to figure out exactly what you want. It provides you with the tools that you need to maneuver through circumstances that you may have let slide at one point. It also gives you a chance to take control of your narrative. Overall, after you’ve gone through this, your perspective begins to change and you start to live your life with a clearer view of who you are.  

3) Prevents You From Learning Lessons

There are many lessons that can be learned after being rejected. Yes, the pain may be excruciating at first, but when you look back, you’ll realize that it only made you wiser. If you never experience rejection, you won’t give yourself the ability to set healthy boundaries for future relationships. You never know, the knowledge that you gain from going through that can help someone else who may be going through a similar situation. You can be a light to those around you without even realizing it. That is why it is not in your best interest to ignore or avoid rejection. Rejection doesn’t feel good and oftentimes, it can cause us to shut down. That’s normal because we’re human. But please, know that you will not remain in this space. This is only temporary. Gather as much as you can when rejection does occur so that you know exactly how to handle it if it happens again. That way, you won’t be as disappointed because you’ll know what the signs are.     You are not defined by the rejection that may come your way. This is just another piece of the puzzle that is your life. It’s better to go through it than to run away from it because life is all about the lessons that you learn and how you apply those lessons to your current circumstances.