There are 3 Myths Professional Women of Color Believe About Moving Forward After A Narcissistic/Toxic Relationship. These things may come to mind while you are on your healing journey, but fret not… I am here to put an end to those myths. One of the hardest parts about moving on, or moving forward after a narcissistic relationship is a fact that your mind is always on replay. You’re constantly replaying what happened and asking yourself what went wrong. At some point, you may even begin to tell yourself that you’ve lost, or you’re missing out on something… Guess what? In all actuality, you won. You are a winner because you did what needed to be done to get out of that toxic situation. You’re a winner because you chose yourself over them. Now, what’s next?   You have to get to know yourself all over again and that involves a lot of internal reflection. In a sense, you have to figure out exactly who you are as well. That takes time, but it’s all part of the process and you can do it.  

1) Time Heals

Don’t get me wrong, time can assist in the process of healing only if you address it. When you don’t’ address the hurt and pain within the time it will only numb or push it down. So, there is a certain amount of work that needs to be completed on the back end as well. When the two are able to work hand in hand, that is when you’ll start to see results. Healing is an ever-evolving process in our lives. It takes a lot of effort to even admit that things need to be changed, but it’s possible. Once you begin to work on yourself, time is able to play its role. Gradually, you’ll start to realize that certain behaviors no longer work for you. You’ll start to set boundaries for yourself and you won’t allow these boundaries to be crossed. You’ll start to realize that you are worth more than that narcissistic relationship caused you to believe. Things will start to make more sense and the world will start to look so much brighter. If you are a professional woman or man of color and ready to break free from codependency and move forward after the narcissist relationship. I want you to sign up for my Unbothered Life beyond a narcissist program waitlist. You will get instant weekly tips to help you through you’re healing journey and first access to the next upcoming program.  

2) I Can’t Date Again – What They Did Still Effects Me

Whether you know it or not, being in a narcissistic/toxic relationship can have lingering effects that we may not even recognize. It does not, however, indicate that you can’t date anymore because you absolutely can. Healing is a never-ending process. Honestly speaking, we never really stop healing ourselves because we are always growing and evolving. That being said, your ability to date again isn’t based on what you went through. It’s based on the fact that you are better than what you went through and when you are fully ready to take that step. It takes some work in finding out what attracted you to the type of person so you don’t meet the same person with a different face. I want for you to be able to meet someone who is more than willing to take the time to understand who you are, inside and out. They will listen to you and they will try their best to make sure that you feel comfortable enough for you to be yourself once you find out who that is. Not only that, I want someone for you that doesn’t manipulate you or gaslight but is emotionally mature enough to be there by your side. If you need help getting more in touch with this make sure to book your appointment to find out who you are beyond the hurt.  

3) I Keep Attracting the Same Type of Men

Trust Me! I know you’re tired of feeling like you keep attracting the same type of men. You may have gone through things in your past relationships that make you feel like that’s all you will ever attract, but I am here to tell you, that’s a myth. It’s not about the man you attract it’s about the man that you choose. I want you to know there will be a lot of men coming at you but you get to decide on who you want to be with. Are you coming from a healthy place with the people that you are choosing? You are not defined by the relationships that you’ve had in the past and your future is not dictated by those relationships either. Good men DO exist and there are plenty of men out there who would be more than willing to show you. Try not to judge yourself for what you have gone through. Instead, make an effort to get professional services to work through the hurt if you find it’s hard to do it on your own. Also, if that is not possible at this moment make sure to go over your past relationship inventory and see what patterns there are that you are doing that is attracting you to the same type of man. You deserve to have good relationships and you deserve to choose people who will allow you to experience good things. Not only that, but when you’ve been through it before, you can point out the signs early on. That’s the best part because your boundaries will be set and you won’t be willing to tolerate narcissistic behavior from anyone. Life doesn’t end after a narcissistic relationship… It begins again. The best part about it is you get a chance to rewrite your story. You are a beautiful work in progress. Give yourself some grace as you continue to travel along this road that we call life. It may get bumpy along the way, but if you are willing to put your all into it/do the work, you can smooth out those bumps. The possibilities are endless when you choose YOU and there’s no limit to the things that you may get to experience. If you are struggling with ways to rediscover yourself after being in a narcissistic relationship, please click the following link to sign up for the UnBothered ( Life Beyond A Narcissist Program)