Now, I know I said simple but I did not say easy. I want you to know you choosing you especially when you are so used to putting others before you is not easy but it is possible. My goal is to get back to you knowing who are you are again and to make sure you never forget again. As I’m helping hundreds of women through healing their trauma, rediscovering who they are, and establishing nourishing and healthy relationships. The key topic I get is wanting to know how to get through hard times especially when it comes to relationships. Relationships could be spouses, friends, partners, or family.
When you are dealing with someone difficult if you are not taking care of yourself and following these simple steps it can easily lead to depression and anxiety symptoms.
Let’s get into what needs to be done
1) Acknowledge and feel
I know this can be hard for you if you try to avoid what feelings are coming up when going through hard times. It’s when we resist the feeling is when it tends to grow stronger and stronger. One of the ways to start feeling free is to stop and face your emotions even if it’s for 10 minutes. If 10 feels like too much try to start with 5 minutes.
Never do I want you to dismiss or push away how you’re feeling. Feelings and emotions are literally trying to help you in the moment. If you’re frustrated, the emotion there is not to bother you it’s because something happened that crossed your boundaries. If you’re lonely, the feeling of loneliness is not trying to bother you it might mean you want to add more social time in your life or currently feel like you have no direction at the moment.
Acknowledge and feel. If you want a way to release in a journal. I have a 7 day feel to heal journal that you can use to help with this process.
2) Acceptance
This is one of the tips that we usually resist. It’s time to think about what you do and what you do not have control over. Let go of what you cannot control. (Examples: how other people perceive you, other’s thoughts, or how others feel.) If you do have control over the situation think about a solution to work through it. What you do have control over your response, your actions, and your behavior. I’ll add a graphic below in hopes this helps.
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3 ) Limit time with toxic people
The individuals we watch out for are the ones who are negative, not supportive, unreliable, judgmental, demanding, and don’t have your best interest at heart. You know if someone is unhealthy for you by paying attention to how you feel. If you’re annoyed, if you feel drained, depleted or you feel worse after talking with them that’s a clear sign it is an unhealthy person to be around. If you feel the opposite in your relationships where you feel positive and light then definitely lean into that. I’m never telling you that the negative emotions or lows will not come but you will have the tools to learn further into this within my individual sessions, events, or programs. I saw this quote the other day and I knew that had to write this down and tell you “the signs you are healing generational trauma is when your relationships are more peaceful, you’re aware of your boundaries you spend less time defending your choices.”- Nicole
This right here is what I want for you I want you to have that peace of mind to speak up when it’s needed, and never apologize once for the choices you feel are right for you. Keep doing the work that you’re doing.
Every time you follow through in what you say or feel you are one step closer to the person you’re becoming.
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