If you’re anything like me, you’ve experienced a bad relationship (or two). That’s why I’ve come up with 3 common myths that keep you anxious in a relationship because let’s all face it… One bad connection or interaction can ruin it for anyone else who may come your way. Over here on Moving Beyond You I don’t want a simple connection to ruin how you feel about relationships.
Experiences such as this can truly cause you to feel like you’re the issue, but that’s not it. What you have to understand is that nobody is perfect. In fact, not a single person walking the Earth’s surface is and that is ok because we don’t have to be. At the end of the day, you can only be responsible for your own actions and when it comes to relationships, an action that you need to work on consistently is “healing”. That is when you will really begin to see changes.
Once that happens, you’ll leave less room for self-doubt within your relationship.
Let’s break down the 3 myths:
If your person is showing you that they care, please do not shut them out, or shut them down. It is okay to let your guard down, as long as your boundaries have been discussed. Past thoughts of unworthiness may try to cloud your judgement when you enter into a new relationship, but those thoughts are untrue! You are a wonderful masterpiece and you should never view yourself as anything less. Try speaking positivity over your life.
Affirm yourself by saying things like, “I am worthy, I am wonderful, I am beautiful”. This will ensure that you are feeding yourself with good and positive energy. Even if you aren’t currently in a relationship, continue to tell yourself that you are deserving of all of the good things that this life has to offer.
If you found yourself struggling with anxiety then I invite you download this guide to help you on your journey.
Many times, people get into relationships thinking they’ll find true happiness within that relationship, without realizing that true happiness lies within. That is an indicator that you can only add to the happiness that you bring to your partner, not be the only reason for that happiness. I’ve noticed that when you rely on others to keep you happy, your life begins to revolve around that person or those people. At that point, you begin to take on every emotion that they may encounter.
If they’re sad, so are you.
If they’re mad, you’re mad at everyone as well.
If they had a bad day, so did you.
This leads to codependency. If you need to know more about this check it out here
This is unhealthy and it is a habit that should be shaken if you exhibit these characteristics. Always remember that you cannot be the reason why someone is happy, but you can be the reason why they maintain their happiness. You should only be willing to add value vs being the reason why that value even exists.
Sis… NEVER dim your light for anybody!
If you ever feel the need to change who you are in order to maintain your relationship with someone… KICK THEM TO THE CURB!
9 times out of 10, you will lose sight of who you are if you convince yourself that you need to alter who you are. What I’ve come to realize over the course of my life is that nobody is worth losing yourself over.
I get it, when you really care about someone, you’ll want to do anything to keep them. However, if one of the requirements involves you changing yourself… Well, that’s too much to ask. Plus, if your significant other truly loves you, they will never ask you to stop being who you are in order for them to stick around. They’ll want to stick around simply because you are YOU! That is someone who is worth staying with.
If you end up feeling like this in your relationships I have a 6 week intensive program that helps you break free from narcissistic or codependent relationships to start establishing healthy relationship with yourself and others. You can sign the waitlist here for the next cycle
All in all, friend… Relationship anxiety does not have to be a thing. I know your thoughts are probably getting the best of you because you’ve been through a lot. I just want to reassure you that that’s okay as long as you don’t intend to stay there. Every relationship will not be the same and you will find someone who gives you alleviates all of the doubt and all of the stress that you may feel when entering into a new relationship. Go with the flow, get out of your head, and reclaim everything that you deserve!
Experiences such as this can truly cause you to feel like you’re the issue, but that’s not it. What you have to understand is that nobody is perfect. In fact, not a single person walking the Earth’s surface is and that is ok because we don’t have to be. At the end of the day, you can only be responsible for your own actions and when it comes to relationships, an action that you need to work on consistently is “healing”. That is when you will really begin to see changes.
Once that happens, you’ll leave less room for self-doubt within your relationship.
Let’s break down the 3 myths:
1) “I’m Not Worthy”
This is probably the biggest myth that exists when it comes to relationships. You may have gone through hell in the past. You may have been told that you aren’t worth it and that you’re difficult to love. You may have endured some things that caused you to doubt yourself as a woman. But the truth of the matter is that you are better than all of those thoughts and all of those circumstances. You overcame those odds! When you find a person who values you and who shows you that you’re worth it, you may struggle to believe that their intentions are pure. It may take you a while to even open up and let them in, but you have to remember that you are worthy of love, you are worthy of happiness, and you are worthy of genuine peace.
If your person is showing you that they care, please do not shut them out, or shut them down. It is okay to let your guard down, as long as your boundaries have been discussed. Past thoughts of unworthiness may try to cloud your judgement when you enter into a new relationship, but those thoughts are untrue! You are a wonderful masterpiece and you should never view yourself as anything less. Try speaking positivity over your life.
Affirm yourself by saying things like, “I am worthy, I am wonderful, I am beautiful”. This will ensure that you are feeding yourself with good and positive energy. Even if you aren’t currently in a relationship, continue to tell yourself that you are deserving of all of the good things that this life has to offer.
If you found yourself struggling with anxiety then I invite you download this guide to help you on your journey.
2) “I Have to Keep My Partner Happy”
Listen up! It’s important to know that it’s not your responsibility to keep your partner happy. It isn’t anyone’s job for that matter. It is solely up to you as an individual to do the work that is required so that you can remain happy and content without anyone else being involved. That way, when you’re in a relationship, you can bring 100% of your own happiness to the table and your partner can do the same as well… That way, the two of you will never lack.
Many times, people get into relationships thinking they’ll find true happiness within that relationship, without realizing that true happiness lies within. That is an indicator that you can only add to the happiness that you bring to your partner, not be the only reason for that happiness. I’ve noticed that when you rely on others to keep you happy, your life begins to revolve around that person or those people. At that point, you begin to take on every emotion that they may encounter.
If they’re sad, so are you.
If they’re mad, you’re mad at everyone as well.
If they had a bad day, so did you.
This leads to codependency. If you need to know more about this check it out here
This is unhealthy and it is a habit that should be shaken if you exhibit these characteristics. Always remember that you cannot be the reason why someone is happy, but you can be the reason why they maintain their happiness. You should only be willing to add value vs being the reason why that value even exists.
3) “I Have to Change Myself to Keep Them”
Sis… NEVER dim your light for anybody!
If you ever feel the need to change who you are in order to maintain your relationship with someone… KICK THEM TO THE CURB!
9 times out of 10, you will lose sight of who you are if you convince yourself that you need to alter who you are. What I’ve come to realize over the course of my life is that nobody is worth losing yourself over.
I get it, when you really care about someone, you’ll want to do anything to keep them. However, if one of the requirements involves you changing yourself… Well, that’s too much to ask. Plus, if your significant other truly loves you, they will never ask you to stop being who you are in order for them to stick around. They’ll want to stick around simply because you are YOU! That is someone who is worth staying with.
If you end up feeling like this in your relationships I have a 6 week intensive program that helps you break free from narcissistic or codependent relationships to start establishing healthy relationship with yourself and others. You can sign the waitlist here for the next cycle
All in all, friend… Relationship anxiety does not have to be a thing. I know your thoughts are probably getting the best of you because you’ve been through a lot. I just want to reassure you that that’s okay as long as you don’t intend to stay there. Every relationship will not be the same and you will find someone who gives you alleviates all of the doubt and all of the stress that you may feel when entering into a new relationship. Go with the flow, get out of your head, and reclaim everything that you deserve!
