Why Leaving a Toxic Relationship Is So Hard

March 1, 2024

I completely empathize with the challenges that come with leaving a toxic relationship. It can feel like an exhausting uphill battle, trying to untangle a complex web of emotions and difficulties. But you don’t have to face it alone. Together, let’s delve into this journey, and I’ll share some relatable examples that may bring some clarity and comfort along the way.

Emotional attachment and fear of being alone

You know how sometimes we become attached to people, even when they treat us poorly?

It’s like our hearts and minds get all tangled up in a mess. This doesn’t just happen by happenstance a lot of times because of the lovebombing that happens in the beginning when the person changes later on we strive for the emotions we felt in the beginning.
For instance, imagine you have a friend who’s in a relationship where their partner constantly puts them down and makes them feel small. Despite that, they might still care deeply about their partner and find it hard to let go because of the emotional bond. As you might know the friends relationship probably didn’t start off that way however as time revealed it went from small pushes towards your friends boundaries that became even worse over time.

What I teach my clients is that when it comes to relationships have your limits on what you will tolerate. Be in a state that whether with the person or without the person know that you’re going to be okay. Another way to work through this is to gradually build a support network of friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional support and reassurance. Don’t let anyone isolate you away from family and friends. Engaging in self-care activities like therapy, meditation, or journaling can also help process emotions and boost self-worth.

If you need help with this know that we are here.

Manipulation and control

Toxic partners have a way of manipulating and controlling the people that there with. They might use tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or making threats to keep their hold on the relationship. Let’s say you have a friend whose partner always blames them for everything, making them doubt their own sanity. It’s really tough to break free from that kind of manipulation and regain control over your own life.

To break free from manipulation and control, it’s important to recognize the tactics being used is to get you to do whatever you want them to do. What I remind my clients is that your feelings are valid and your experiences are valid. You know how you feel and what you experience nobody can take that away from you because there literally not in your body to tell you how you felt or what you experienced.

Professional help, like therapy or counseling, can give you the tools you need to regain your sense of self and set healthy boundaries. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network will also provide guidance and encouragement along the way.

Low self-esteem and self-worth

Toxic relationships can chip away at our self-esteem and make us question our worth. Imagine a friend who is constantly belittled by their partner, being told they’re not good enough or that no one else would want them. Over time, this can make them feel like they don’t deserve better and that leaving would be pointless.

You wake up to you everyday it’s important to make that relationship a priority. You are enough just as you are make sure that you have people around you that help you see that. If you feel like you don’t have that support around you know that we have a community Hey It’s Not Just You Membership that can help you along the way.

Here’s what you can do: Engage in activities that promote self-care, self-love and have a supportive community. Try practicing positive affirmations, setting achievable goals, and prioritizing personal growth. It’s all about regaining your confidence and finding your inner strength.

Dependency and financial concerns

Sometimes, people stay in toxic relationships because they depend on their partner financially or emotionally. Picture a friend who relies on their partner for financial support and is afraid of facing financial instability if they leave. It’s hard to break free from that dependency and the fear of not being able to make it on their own.

When it comes to addressing dependency and financial concerns, it’s all about careful planning. Start by creating a financial plan that outlines the steps you need to take to achieve independence. This might include finding employment or building up a support network. Having a plan in place can help ease some of the fears that come with leaving a toxic relationship.

Don’t hesitate to seek assistance from organizations that specialize in helping people in similar situations. They can provide resources and support to guide you through this process.

Hope for change and romanticizing the past

We’ve all been there, right? Hoping that things will get better, even when everything around us is falling apart. Think about a friend who is in a toxic relationship but remembers the good times they had with their partner. They may hold onto the hope that things will go back to how they were, even though deep down they know it’s unlikely. You have to pay attention on who the person is now not who they were before or who you hope they will be.

To gain clarity and perspective, try engaging in activities like journaling or therapy. They can help you reflect on your experiences and find a path forward. Setting clear boundaries and goals for the future will also redirect your hope towards personal growth and healing.

Isolation and lack of support

Toxic partners often isolate their victims from their loved ones, making it harder to seek help or support. Imagine a friend whose partner doesn’t allow them to spend time with other friends or family, leaving them feeling alone and without a strong support system. It’s incredibly challenging to leave a toxic relationship when you feel isolated and unsupported.

To break free from isolation and lack of support, reach out to trusted friends, family, or organizations that can lend a hand. Building a support network of people who understand what you’re going through can offer empathy, guidance, and practical support.

Consider seeking professional help, like therapy or counseling. They’ll give you the tools you need to navigate this journey towards freedom and healing.

Remember, leaving a toxic relationship requires immense strength and courage. If you or someone you know is going through this, make sure to reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can offer guidance, support, and a listening ear along the way. You deserve and are worthy of happiness and a healthy relationship, and I’ll be right here for you rooting for you along the way.