If you’ve ever been told, “Your standards are too high,” chances are it came from someone who couldn’t meet your values, not someone who truly understood them. Standards aren’t about being picky over height, money, or appearances. They’re about self-respect, emotional safety, and wanting relationships that actually support you instead of drain you.
So no, your standards aren’t the problem. Let’s talk about why keeping them is not only okay but necessary.
1. Your Standards Are About Respect, Not Perfection
Asking for honesty, reliability, and kindness isn’t a “high bar”, it’s the bare minimum. Think about it: would you keep going to a mechanic who constantly overcharges you or doesn’t actually fix your car? Probably not. In relationships, it’s the same. Wanting respect and honesty is about protecting your peace, not chasing perfection.
2. Low Standards Teach People How to Treat You
When you lower your standards just to keep someone around, you’re essentially teaching them what they can get away with. If you accept broken promises, constant excuses, or half-hearted effort, that becomes the norm. But when you hold your boundaries and expect accountability, you attract people who actually value follow-through.
3. The Right People Align With Your Values
A person who’s truly ready for a healthy relationship won’t see your standards as “too much.” They’ll see them as a reflection of their own values. It’s like when two friends both value being on time, they don’t clash, they sync. In love, the right match will appreciate your expectations because they live by the same ones.
4. Standards Protect You From Chaos
Every time you walk away from someone who’s inconsistent, dismissive, or unwilling to communicate, you’re choosing stability over stress. Without clear standards, relationships can feel like constant guessing games. With them, you filter out the chaos early and save yourself from emotional whiplash down the road.
5. Standards Push You
Toward Growth, Too
High standards aren’t just about what you expect from others, they shape how you show up, too. When you value honesty, you’re more likely to be transparent yourself. When you value effort, you’re more intentional in the way you love. Healthy standards encourage both people to keep growing instead of staying stuck.
The Bottom Line
Your standards aren’t about being difficult, they’re about protecting your self-worth and building relationships grounded in respect, consistency, and care. Don’t shrink them to make others comfortable. The right people won’t just accept your standards, they’ll meet you there.
If you’re wondering whether you’re ready to meet someone who truly meets your standards, try our “Am I Ready for Love?” quiz to get clarity on what’s next for you.
And if you’ve been neglecting yourself while pouring into others, our I MISS ME: A Journal For The Version Of You You’ve Been Neglecting will help you reconnect with the person you’ve been putting on the backburner.
📩 P.S. Subscribe to our newsletter for free in the box below, this week’s topic is “How to Know If You’re Asking for Too Little” and you won’t want to miss it. (Click the box below)