The Season of Love: How Practicing Self-Love Changes Everything
Love is everywhere this time of year, flower shop lines are long, social media is filled with grand gestures, and there’s that subtle pressure to have a “special someone.”
Here’s what I want you to know: the most important love story of your life is the one you have with yourself.
If that idea makes you roll your eyes a little, I get it. Self-love is one of those things that sounds great in theory, but actually practicing it? That’s a whole different story. Maybe you’ve spent years putting other people first. Maybe you’ve been in relationships that made you feel like you weren’t enough. Or maybe you’re just not sure where to start.
When you start showing up for yourself, everything changes.
Why Self-Love Matters More
Than Ever?
1. It Teaches People How to Treat You
2. It Helps You Heal from Toxic Patterns
Have you ever noticed that the more you let things slide, the more people take advantage of it? Whether it’s a friend who constantly cancels plans last minute or a partner who never considers your needs, it’s easy to think, Maybe I just need to be more patient. But here’s the reality: when you don’t value your own time, energy, or emotions, others won’t either.
For example, let’s say you always say “yes” to last-minute requests from coworkers, even when you’re exhausted. Over time, they start expecting it. But when you start setting boundaries, like saying, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the bandwidth today” you show them that your time is valuable, too. And that’s a form of self-love: choosing to honor yourself instead of constantly overextending.
If you’ve been in unhealthy relationships, whether with a romantic partner, a family member, or even a friend, self-love is what helps you break the cycle.
Maybe you grew up believing that love meant enduring things, not walking away when you were disrespected. Maybe you were told that asking for what you need makes you “difficult.” Or maybe you got so used to giving that you never learned how to receive.
Self-love shifts that narrative. It helps you recognize when something isn’t love, it’s just a pattern you’re used to. It gives you the courage to walk away from situations that drain you, even when it’s hard. And most importantly, it teaches you that you don’t have to earn love by sacrificing yourself.
3. It Gives You Confidence to Make Better Choices
Loving yourself isn’t about thinking you’re perfect, it’s about believing that you deserve better.
Think about a time when you stayed in a situation that made you unhappy, a job that drained you, a relationship that made you feel small, a friendship that felt one-sided. Chances are, part of the reason you stayed was that little voice in your head saying, Maybe this is the best I can get.
But when you practice self-love, that voice starts to change. You begin to recognize your worth, which makes it easier to walk away from things that don’t align with your happiness. You start making choices that serve you, rather than settling for what’s familiar.
For example, instead of saying “yes” to another date with someone who doesn’t respect your time, you choose to spend the evening doing something that actually brings you joy. Instead of accepting an apology without changed behavior, you hold people accountable for how they treat you. And instead of shrinking yourself to make others comfortable, you take up space, unapologetically.
Okay, But How Do You Actually Start?
Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and affirmations (although those are great). It’s about learning to be there for yourself, even on the hard days. It’s about setting boundaries, speaking kindly to yourself, and making choices that align with the life you truly want.
Not sure where to start? I’ve got you. Watch out for the next newsletter, where I’ll be sharing practical, realistic ways to start prioritizing yourself, without guilt.
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And if you’re looking for a supportive space to grow, heal, and connect with others who get it, join the Beyond You Collective, our private membership community where we have real conversations about healing, self-worth, and stepping into the life you deserve. You don’t have to figure this out alone. We’re in this together. 💫
