3 Quickest Ways to Stop Gaslighting

September 2, 2024

How many times have we heard the term gaslighting lately? Usually, when you think of gaslighting it has to do what someone else is saying to you.

However what if it’s you being the one to minimize how you feel? I wanted to bring up the term self gaslighting which can be a toxic trait that we do to ourselves and not even realize.

A lot of times when you are looking for external validation it’s because you have most likely been gaslighted. Before we get into others gaslighting you and phrases to look out for. I want you to be ware if there are moments where you are gaslighting yourself

Do you find yourself:

Second-guessing yourself Ex: I should just get over it. They had a bad day they didn’t mean it like that.”

Minimizing how you’re feeling Ex: I am being too (fill in the word) much, sensitive, needy etc…

You don’t realize it but those comments deny the reality of how you are really feeling. The key is to know what to look out for and be aware of what you’re saying.

You are human. You have every right to feel and need what you want. If you have trouble with owning how you feel my Journal Feel to Heal can help you with taking charge of owning how you feel to stop gaslighting.

Be aware of the things you say. Now let’s get into when others are gaslighting you and what to do.

I want you to know being Gaslighted is when someone is invalidating you and has you questioning your own reality.

Especially, in toxic/narcissistic relationships whether from parents, partners or friends this can happen frequently.

I want to give you some of the key phrases to look out for when being gaslighted.

If you find yourself saying any of these phrases, know that it’s okay.

If you didn’t know they were gaslighting comments try not to judge yourself for saying them.

I send out e-mails each week that you can find here to give you weekly tips on how to move forward in having your peace of mind. I talk about gaslighting in-depth in my signature program Life After a Narcissist and events.

Look below for key phrases people will use to gaslight you

5 Key Phrases for Gaslighting

” It wasn’t that bad.” ( feelings are being minimized making you feel as though you don’t have the right to feel that way.”)

” I never said that.” ( dismissing what you said making you feel as though you’re going crazy)

” Where did that come from?” ( this sentence depends on what is being said however if you are confronting a situation, an emotion comes up that you assertively express and they make you again think you’re crazy that is gaslighting.)

“That didn’t happen”

“You took that out of context”

Bonus: ” You must be hearing things.”

In these sentences. I want you to notice how they are denying what you are feeling and your reality.

Look out for this within your conversations. I’m not saying drop each person that does this. It’s about being aware so you can make sure you validate yourself or speak up about it.

What to do?

Speak Up : At times naming what is actually happening about it and owning how you feel can make a world of difference. If you feel like you are being gaslighted protect your energy by validating yourself with comment such as ” My feelings are valid.”
Self Compassion: How can you offer yourself compassion? If it’s hard to do so imagine a close friend going through the same situation and what would you tell them? Make sure to say the same thing to yourself.
Know Your Truth: Just because someone close to you said it. It doesn’t make it true. There are people who will try to blame you all the time or make you think what you’re saying is all in your head. Honor and know that your expereince is valid . Somoene trying to blame you doesn’t mean it holds weight to what you already know to be true.